Morgan Harper Nichols' Blog

Category: Daily

  • To Begin Again

    To Begin Again

    Words to repeat to yourself:

    “I embrace little moments that remind me: it’s not too late to begin again.”

    Whether you’re

    Changing course on past goals or dreams,

    Wanted to try something new but worried about failing,

    Want to do something different but don’t know how…

    Let it be the little moments that remind you: you don’t have to rush into new beginnings. You can start small, gathering the ingredients you need to make something new. Look for places in your environment that can remind you of this.

    Here are some examples:

    Think of the ingredients lined up on the counter before you’re getting ready to cook something. It’s like seeing all the pieces you need, reminding you that you have what it takes to start and create something new. This could be a useful way to think about a new beginning if you feel overwhelmed by a blank slate. Think of the ingredients of life as being a base to work with.

    Think of the fresh book smell. It’s like a reminder that you can take your time with it. You don’t have to rush through every page. As you move through it, things will begin to make more sense. Think of moving through the month like that; as the fresh month feel wears off, just like a book, you’re getting deeper into the story. This could help if you feel overwhelmed by starting fresh. Think of the process as a journey that unfolds over time.

    Think of a cleaned-off shelf, ready to be rearranged. Even though there’s nothing on it yet, the shelf has enough structure to imagine what you can fill it with. Think of moving day by day like that, with each set of 24 hours offering new opportunities to add something meaningful. This could be useful if the idea of a blank canvas feels daunting. Consider the shelf’s structure as a foundation to build upon.

    While starting over in life in big ways often involves so much more than this, these smaller, daily things serve as inspiration for thinking about the bigger things.

    May these simple, everyday things remind you that you are free to begin again, no matter how big or small the steps you take. Embrace the little things and let them be a part of what helps you create space toward new possibilities. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • May the sunrise find you, right here at the edge of June

    May the sunrise find you, right here at the edge of June

    As you move toward the edge of June, I hope July reveals something wholehearted, and perhaps, even beautiful for you. Because for all of the things that have failed to make sense, and for all of the troubled, tangled things that seem to keep cracking open, maybe, there can still room for sunlight to filter through, too.

    As you look to the month ahead, may you look for any opportunity to pull back the curtains of what-ifs and almosts, even just a little, and let the sunrise-like nature of possibility find you: a slowly, rising current of warmth that still surprises you, even when it seemed the sunlight had already chosen elsewhere. May sunrise land right here, even if its flickers at first. And may there be something in you that believes in matters. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Finding language to tell this story

    Finding language to tell this story

    It can take a lot of energy to describe things and search for the right words, even when it comes to experiences we’re intimately familiar with. However, it can make a difference to give yourself permission to practice and explore within a space where there’s less pressure.

    Here’s an idea you can try. This exercise invites you to explore the subtle differences in how we perceive and describe shared experiences, ultimately helping you to find language for your own story.

    1 – Think of a recent, neutral or positive experience with someone else, like a dinner conversation or a trip to the grocery store. Write down 3-5 words that describe the overall feeling or atmosphere of that experience (e.g., relaxing, warm, busy). Don’t worry about being creative—just note what comes to mind.

    2 – Reach out to the person you shared the experience with. Explain you’re doing a journaling exercise: “Random question. What 3-5 words describe [briefly describe the experience] for you? I’m doing a quick journaling exercise.”

    3 – Compare your lists. Take note of word similarities and differences. Do they highlight different parts of the experience?

    4 – Observe even in shared experiences, we each perceive, describe, and tell stories differently.

    Alternative Exercise: Describe an experience today using 5 words. In 3 days, describe the same experience again without looking at your original words. Did anything change?

    Why This Matters: This exercise helps you validate your voice by showing how we all perceive and describe even simple experiences differently.

    This can have a profound impact on the stories we tell. When you can acknowledge and embrace these differences, it creates an opportunity for deeper connections and an opportunity to grow in confidence and it also allows you to connect more deeply with others and learn how they tell stories. You can start to notice your unique way of finding language for a store by noticing the subtle differences in how you (and others) describe even the most simple things.

    -Morgan Harper Nichols

    If you’re interested in finding language to tell stories (through journaling, letter-writing, or creative or professional work) join me for an in-person writing workshop in Atlanta, Georgia on July 26! Tickets

  • small gentle spaces

    small gentle spaces

    Finding room to breathe, to feel, and to let go can be difficult to find in life, and at the same time, it can unfold in smaller ways than you may think. A small space to let out a breath you’ve been holding doesn’t need everything else to stop before you notice it and before it can matter. It might be small, but it is not insignificant, and it can provide the clarity and recharge you need to return your focus to what matters.

    A gentle space is a moment of calm amidst the chaos, and it’s even something you can happen to find, even if it’s only for a moment.

    Consider this: happening to find a gentle space is:

    Happening to notice the sound of leaves rustling,
    Noticing the oddly soothing rhythmic hum of the washing machine in the distance,
    Observing a tiny new leaf on the houseplant that wasn’t there before,
    Watching iridescent swirls in the soap bubbles,
    Witnessing steam rising from the coffee mug that dances in the sunlight, swirling and fading.
    These little spaces, these little moments, can also be accumulative, meaning they build upon each other to create a more profound sense of peace and clarity.

    It’s in these moments that things stop, perhaps even for a millisecond, but it’s a millisecond that still matters. A millisecond could be seen as a little space all on its own, too. Finding gentle spaces where things slow down and we begin to notice what is packed with dashes of joy, small changes in perspectives of ordinary moments, and flickers of sunlight isn’t about escaping reality, but about recognizing the need to pause so we can actually return to what we need or desire to do, rested and with clarity.

    Look for subtle gentle resets, even when you are just moving through the day. Seek them out in small ways. How can gentle moments provide room for ongoing discovery, even when it comes to something you’d like to feel, such as joy, comfort, and calm? What small things might support a healing journey in ways you’ve yet to realize? You are allowed to seek out these small gentle spaces in everyday life.

    Here’s to moving toward these harder-to-notice resets, not as an escape from life, but as a way to return to it.

    Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Finding peace in saying “no,” finding meaning in saying “yes”

    Finding peace in saying “no,” finding meaning in saying “yes”

    Identify areas in your life where you can find peace in saying “no” when you need to and find meaning in intentionally saying “yes” when you need to.

    Recognize specific situations where there is no room to say “yes” when you need to say “no” and “no” when you need to say “yes.” The significance of these specific situations is that it can be hard to figure everything out, especially when making changes in every area of your life. For instance, trying to say “yes” to many changes at once can be hard to do while pacing yourself and taking steps.

    So, allow yourself to start small. What’s one thing you can say “yes” to today? What’s one thing you can say “no” to today?

    Let’s say you’ve decided to say “yes” to creativity and “no” to the perfectionism that holds you back from being creative. Finding meaning in saying “yes” to creativity might look like allowing yourself to try something new that your 13-year-old self would have liked to create. It has meaning because it’s a part of your story. The peace you find in saying “no” is knowing that what your 13-year-old self needed to create wasn’t about perfection but about honesty and reflecting that version of yourself.

    Other ideas could include:

    Say “yes” to meaningful conversations and “no” to the pressure of always having the right words.

    Say “yes” to learning a new skill and “no” to the hesitation of not being good at it immediately.

    Say “yes” to exploring a new opportunity and “no” to worrying about what others think.

    Let today be the day you say “yes” where you need to say “yes” and “no” where you need to say “no” and let this be a part of how you grow. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • making connections that can grow with time

    making connections that can grow with time

    Sand dollars form their unique patterns naturally and meticulously, just as we cultivate connections that evolve and strengthen over time. Each pattern emerges from the slow accumulation and layering of materials, reflecting the gradual development of our relationships. This slow crafting process in nature is similar to how we strengthen bonds through time, patience, and shared experiences.

    Intricate connections take time to form.

    Every stage adds depth and character.

    Their unique journeys create distinct, lasting impressions.

    …a lot like a desired relationship or connection with other people.

    These natural imprints on sand dollars are a beautiful metaphor for the detailed, often unnoticed, growth in our connections. There are so many little things that have to happen in order for patterns emerge through patient growth and yet, they are often overlooked.

    And like each distinct pattern on a sand dollar reflects the subtle, yet specific process of formation, the same is true of the process it takes in relations to cultivate stories, memories, and love in intertwined lives. May this comparison serve as a reminder that as the details take time to form, with careful, gentle attention, there are new ways that love can continue to grow with time.

    May there be space to gradually and deliberately nurture the bonds that enrich our lives.

    – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • And somehow, morning sunlight persists

    And somehow, morning sunlight persists

    there may be unknowns up ahead of you,

    and perhaps, this is also true:

    there will also be sunrises that continue to

    expand all around you.

    and what makes sunrises distinct

    from the full-light of day

    is that they carry traces of night with them

    and illuminating the path before you, anyway.

    yes, there are shadows out here.

    and you do not have to pretend they don’t exist

    before you start how flickers of morning-sunlight-possibility

    somehow, still persist.

    -Morgan Harper Nichols

  • A Constellation of Stars

    A Constellation of Stars

    For all the things that don’t make sense in the moment,

    I hope one day you look back and find:

    little that felt scattered were actually a constellation of stars.

    I hope you find that small joys that seemed fleeting

    were bright moments that actually told a story

    of all the good things that shined on, anyway.

    I hope that for all the things that started but were never finished,

    that at least, for some of it,

    you can look back and see:

    the larger story continued unfolding.

    You continued becoming.

    Because there have been many things in life

    that have not gone according to plan,

    and there are still many unknowns

    as you face the journey ahead,

    nut perhaps, this remains true:

    you are still connected here in ways that matter:

    and through the grief, the questions, the laughter,

    there can still be beauty, depth, and meaning,

    amid all that scatters: a constellation of stars, after everything.

    -Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Discovering New Ways to Be Present

    Discovering New Ways to Be Present

    Being present doesn’t only mean thinking quietly or sitting still for a long time. Sometimes, being present is being attuned in a conversation, being aware of a feeling, or being attentive in a particular setting.

    Even when the days are long, busy, crowded, you are still free to notice the small moments are still worth acknowledging. You are still allowed to observe and recognize the ways you are learning to be alive, right here. Let moments of attunement, awareness, and attentiveness be a reminder that you are being present, even in small ways. Let them be reminders that even when you notice others being present in different ways, the way you’ve learned to move through the actual space you’re in right now matters more than you know.

    So whether you feel like you’ve been able to find enough quiet time or not, it is never too late to allow yourself to explore new ways of being present. And you can do this by acknowledging the ways you’ve already been attentive in your life right here, recognizing that this is something you can continue to be build upon. Allow yourself to keep exploring new possibilities for engaging more fully right here where you are. – Morgan Harper Nichols

    I’ve just announced a new in-person writing workshop in the Metro Atlanta Georgia area (where I’m from!) on Saturday, July 26. Would love to see you there! Tickets now available

    There’s also a few more spots available for the free virtual writing workshops in July. Click here to RSVP

  • To Create is to Exhale

    To Create is to Exhale

    Even here, it matters to create. Not because everything is figured out, and not because you have to make a product or because you must be a “creative,” but because day by day, you have been taking so much in, and it matters to have space to let go. To create is to exhale. To create is to realize that after all the taking-in and the processing, you need to room to breathe.

    Create space

    Create conversation

    Create connection

    Create room for rest, where you need to

    Create a sense of motion, where you need to

    Create something worth sharing

    Create something worth keeping

    Sometimes, creating will take on the form of art, written words, or something tangible and also, many other times, it can take on the form of anything that reminds you: you don’t have to hold it all in. You are allowed to make room for letting go, even here, and no matter how small. To create is to exhale.

    – Morgan Harper Nichols

    This is an excerpt from this week’s series in the Storyteller app. The app is available on Apple and Android.

  • Creating space to think more clearly

    Creating space to think more clearly

    Whenever you start to feel like you need a space where you can just breathe and explore possibilities, it can be hard to find ways to do that intentionally. However, you can start with one small thing at a time, and watch it grow with time. Spider webs are examples of this. Spiders create beautiful, symmetric webs using their amazing silk produced by special body parts called spinnerets. Radial threads provide a sturdy framework, while spiral threads catch prey. The web’s design allows it to bend in the wind without breaking. These intentional connections create strength and flexibility. When we observe the intricacies of a spider’s web, it reminds us to bring the same thoughtfulness to our own lives. By building our spaces with purpose and care, strand by strand, we create environments that allow us to think more clearly and live more intentionally. Right here, you are free to grow, reflect, and create in a gentle, intentional way.

    -Morgan Harper Nichols

  • more noticing, less proving

    more noticing, less proving

    Fireflies are known for their blinking lights, with different species having distinct flashing patterns. Like fireflies flickering in different patterns, in different places, how you focus can be shaped by where you are.

    There are different ways you might be focusing:

    Broad Focus is when you are focusing on doing many different things (a few examples):
    -Being naturally curious and having diverse interests
    -Moving through many changes and transitions
    -Expanding your social circle
    -Helping others with various tasks

    Narrow Focus is when you are focusing more than ever on specific things (a few examples):
    -Taking a break after a very busy period in life
    -Focusing on fewer things to make life less complicated and more manageable
    -Reflecting to avoid feeling burnt out again after feeling overwhelmed in the past
    -Being deeply passionate about something and wanting to devote as much time and energy to it as possible

    So, the next time you start feeling pressure around the concept of focusing, take a moment to pause and start with a question. “Where am I?” Consider where you are. Is it a time for broad exploration, narrow concentration, or both? If both, in which areas of your life does each approach apply?

    May the fireflies remind you of the many ways of shining and focusing light.

    Here’s to more noticing, less proving. There will be a time for a focus that is more scattered and a time for a focus that is more concentrated. May the blinking path of fireflies remind you there’s room for both.

    – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • When you encounter joy again, let it in

    When you encounter joy again, let it in

    For the one whose heart is healing:

    When you encounter joy again, let it in. Even when it is as subtle as a slowly rising sun, and the warmth on your skin is ever-so-gentle, may you know it still matters:

    The laughter that reminds you: you are worthy of release.
    The music that reminds you: you are free to feel the full range of your emotions.
    The random story you share with someone you care about that reminds you: you are allowed to seek out moments where you feel seen.

    When you experience moments like this, you do not have to write it off as “nothing.” These small moments may not be everything, but they still matter. These moments are still flickers of sunlight finding you again and again.

    When you encounter joy again, let it in.

    -Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Gathering wisdom and applying what you’ve learned

    Gathering wisdom and applying what you’ve learned

    Of the many things birds are capable of, birds have a skill when it comes to thoroughness, especially when they build their nests. They don’t just throw some twigs together, but instead, take their time in carefully choosing each piece and putting it together to create a strong and cozy home that’s built to last.

    Perhaps what’s even more impressive is that birds aren’t born with this skill. Many species learn by observing their parents and other birds in their community, picking up techniques that they’ll use throughout their lives. As if they were attending a school for nest-building, they’re not just learning randomly, they are learned from shared experiences.

    What experiences have other people had in your life that you have learned from?

    Which ones have you acted upon? Which ones have you let go?

    What experiences have you had that you’ve shared with others?

    Consider how this is a nest-making moment: a time when you’re building something meaningful and lasting, pieced together from the wisdom and experiences shared by those around you. Just as birds carefully select each twig and leaf to create a sturdy home, you’re gathering valuable lessons and insights from others in a way you can build upon.

    There might be moments in life where you start to feel as though it’s hard to find people who can teach you important things or you may feel as though you don’t have much to share.

    But the next time you cross paths with a bird’s nest, let it be a reminder of all the many possible ways you can gather wisdom and build your own “nest,” piece by piece. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Letting small things stay meaningful

    Letting small things stay meaningful

    You are allowed to take notes on the small things, even if they’re not extraordinary. Let yourself explore all the fragments that make up the whole, even brief encounters. These moments are often overlooked, but if we write them down, we might look back over time and find that they held more value than we initially realized.

    When thinking about the conversations we have, it’s not always just the topic of discussion that matters. It could be the warmth we feel when talking with someone, the familiarity of someone we know well, or the energetic curiosity when it’s someone new. Taking note of the ways we have shared moments with others might seem insignificant in the moment, but they are more than that. Like sand, these moments can slip through our hands, but when we look around, we recognize that the same sand is still a part of the landscape…a landscape that grows. A landscape that you can move through and continue to find new connections in.

    What matters here is knowing that even if something feels fleeting, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. It’s still a part of a larger landscape, and you are allowed to take note of it. Let these moments accumulate. Take photos of ordinary things and write down fleeting moments. Come back to them again and again, and be surprised by the vastness of the landscape in which you have been living.

    If something felt special to you––even if just for a moment, let it be special. If the conversation that night felt like poetry, then let it be poetry. If even the most brief moment of joy felt like sunlight shining in, then that sunshines. Even when it feels fleeting, you are allowed to engage with the bittersweet feeling that it matters. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Clarity in the pauses

    Clarity in the pauses

    How can quiet pauses be powerful and bring clarity?

    Notes from ocean currents during times of minimal wind:

    When the wind is calm, surface ocean currents slow down because they are primarily driven by wind. However, deep ocean currents continue to move because they are driven by differences in water density, which are influenced by temperature and salinity variations. This shows that while surface currents are wind-driven, deep currents are driven by density differences. In these quieter moments, they become quietly powerful.

    It may look like surface currents slow down when the wind is calm, but deeper currents that are driven by density are still moving large amounts of water in a way that can’t be seen from the surface. The fact that ocean current patterns change when there isn’t much wind shows that wind and differences in density are what drive surface currents and deep currents, respectively. Deep waters flow even when calm.

    Perhaps, like the ocean finds clarity in the pause of the wind, we can also learn something from these quieter moments. The ocean’s currents may seem to stop, but they are actually shifting in a new way. Density differences in the water create a slow, powerful flow.

    Like the ocean, perhaps, we too find clarity in stillness. Hidden changes and transformations can still flow even when it seems like nothing is moving.

    Even though this process may be slower than we want, it’s not too late to find clarity amid the stillness.

    Find clarity in the pauses by noticing the quiet changes.

    Find clarity in the pauses by observing subtle shifts.

    Find clarity in the pauses by recognizing the depth the small movements.

    Our daily lives may not look exactly like the ocean’s, but we can still learn that change happens even when it appears still.

    The ocean’s currents keep moving when the wind stops, driven by the weight of the water. We can keep flowing with great depth, even in quiet times.

    There is room for movement and transformation over time, wave by wave. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Embracing the early stages

    Embracing the early stages

    You are allowed to recognize your own strengths and let them inform who you are. In the same way an acorn is fully an acorn before becoming an oak tree, you too, are someone who matters at every stage of growth…even when others haven’t yet seen who you could be…and even before you yourself know what further growth will look like. Just as acorns must be gathered at the right time to ensure their potential is realized, amidst all of the ideas out there on how to grow and improve, you are allowed to seek out ways to say “I like who I am” long before your talents and capabilities are recognized by others. Yes, an acorn keeps growing and changing, but it matters, as it is, from the very start. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • A repeatable practice for overwhelm

    A repeatable practice for overwhelm

    Prepare for what’s ahead with thoughtfulness and intention.

    Take your time so that you can develop a steady cadence.

    Take a moment to pause and figure out what you need right now.

    When you feel overwhelmed by the number of things you need to do, and it’s been hard to know where to start, thoughtfulness and intention could look like this: take time to assess where you may need refinement and where you can let go. Take time to ask yourself thoughtful questions to help clarify your intentions:

    “Do I thrive more in routine or spontaneity?”

    “Which could I benefit more from right now: more social interactions or by solitary reflection?”

    “Do I gain clarity through planning in detail or by allowing things to unfold naturally?”

    “Am I needing something new or just a renewed sense of focus?”

    The difference between these questions and more standard questions such as “What’s my top priority?” or “What’s the next step?” is that they help you assess what your needs are, beneath the surface, instead of just focusing on task completion. There’s nothing wrong with the more general questions, but in those moments where you’re starting to feel overwhelmed by the unknown future, clarity and intentionality can make all the difference, and take the pressure off feelings like you need to have all of the answers right away.

    Create a steady cadence by welcoming the kind of questions that cause you to pause and reflect. Allow yourself to explore how you can be specific with what you need right now as you prepare for what’s to come. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Connection, even from far away

    Connection, even from far away

    When bioluminescent algae light up the ocean at night, it makes the water glow. This happens when lots of tiny algae come together and react to the water’s movement, creating light through a chemical process.

    What if we could see meaningful relationships in our lives in a similar way? As we react to the “movement of the water” in daily life, where we adapt and interact, we’re not the only ones seeking to produce light, seeking to navigate each experience. Like algae, we are in community with one another, whether we are directly connected or spread out in different places. And when we come together and interact, there’s this exchange of thoughts, emotions, and stories that together create a vibrant, illuminated network. This exchange can lead to new ideas and connections…just like how the algae’s chemical reactions produce a visible glow.

    It might be hard to see in a very literal way how algae lighting up the ocean is like our relationships, but think of it like this: both are about small, individual things coming together to make a larger group. Just as algae create a glowing ocean, our relationships and interactions create a network of shared experiences that enrich and brighten our lives. Think of moving through the day in a way you might think of algae moving through water: reacting to the movement and mixing with other algae to make a glowing web of light.

    Just like algae in the ocean, we move through our days reacting to what’s around us and mixing with others to create a glowing web of connection.

    Being present in our relationships isn’t about always finding a large, ideal group of friends or always spending lots of time together. Of course, it can be those things, but it’s also about noticing and asking questions about how you’re moving through things together. Even if it’s just noticing that you have moved from Monday to Tuesday with others, these shared moments are meaningful and worth noticing and talking about, wherever we are. Like bioluminescent algae in the sea, our small actions and interactions can spark a bright web, creating and deepening relationships in more ways than we realize. Connection can be created up close, and perhaps, like bioluminescent algae show us, far away. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Courage is an ongoing process of small shifts

    Courage is an ongoing process of small shifts

    Dragonflies are known for their ability to hover and swiftly change direction which is surely a testament to their agility and precision. Their two pairs of wings can move independently and this mechanism is what actually allows them to maneuver effortlessly in all directions, even backward, when they need to. Their 360-degree vision makes them adaptable and agile, like a courageous dream could be: gliding over serene ponds and through lush wetlands.

    To dream is to explore possibilities beyond the constraints of what’s been done in the past, yet still slowly learning to use patience to navigate. And this practice of dreaming leads to the freeing act of learning to hover, despite our fears, even before the fears fully go away. To hover amidst the reeds. To glide even in the winds. Like a dragonfly, we can find our way through the reeds and lily pads of all of the curiosities, convictions, and stories that make up the dream.

    As dragonflies pivot and adapt in mid-air, when it comes to our dreams, no matter how old or new, how vivid or fleeting, perhaps, we too can pivot, adapt, adjust, and thrive. Courage, like a dragonfly’s precision, can continue to transform paths we journey through, as we learn to adjust and evolve, like the dragonfly in the ever-changing winds. It’s okay if courage requires adjustment. You are free to let it become an ongoing process of small shifts.

    Amidst all of the wonder typically associated with dragonflies, there’s a flexibility we gain from dreaming. And even as we face the unknowns of those very dreams, like a dragonfly, we still learn to fly right where we are. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Small Joys, Even in Fragments

    Small Joys, Even in Fragments

    Remember the small moments that bring warmth and joy to your life, for even if they feel far away or no longer as potent or relevant as they used to be, the fact that you can remember them at all is a reminder that through it all, you have been connected to this life. Through it all, you have been alive. Notice how many things that bring warmth to life are connected. Whether it’s spending time with other people or spending time with other people’s stories as you read books or listen to music, it’s all connected somehow. Even if you’re just passively observing or vaguely remembering those warm moments, that’s still something worth holding on to and building upon, no matter how small it is.

    And when it comes to the present moment, and how you seek to find joy and warmth in the days to come, allow yourself to think of the smallest things. In addition to all the good things that could be connected to other people, these things can also be connected to your senses as well:

    What specific color makes you think of joy?
    What song seems to have a sense of warmth to it?
    What scents or textures help you remember joyful moments yet again?

    Increase your ability to notice what might grow right here by allowing yourself to ask these kinds of specific questions. Use your available senses to anchor yourself in these small joys and let them be a pathway for finding warmth and happiness in the present and in moments to come. And if you’d like, you can also ask someone you know to answer these questions and explore the many nuances and ways different people move through these more subtle experiences and how they connect to a bigger picture. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Reframing what it means to even “try”

    Reframing what it means to even “try”

    Sometimes it’s hard to engage in new experiences when you feel that you might not be able to do it perfectly or avoid making mistakes.

    What if you said “yes” only to realize it’s not what you expected?
    What if it doesn’t go as planned?
    What if you find it overwhelming or challenging?
    What if not doing it correctly leads to new kinds of judgment from others?

    It’s only human to have these worries. It’s only human to ask “what if” when you’re faced with new unknowns. And at the same time, it is also only human to allow yourself room to breathe as you ease your way into new things. Allow yourself to acknowledge the courage it takes to move through something new: even if that something “new” is just a new day you’ve never experienced before.

    For instance, when it comes to moving through a new day as a new experience all on its own, it’s easy to overlook the strength required to do the most simple things or the energy needed to navigate even the most subtle changes.

    If you’ve made it through anything today, even if it’s just a series of regular breaths you took without thinking about it, no matter how small and whether anyone noticed or not, take this as a reminder of how you’ve been engaging with the new experience of a new day. Reflect on how, even when you weren’t thinking about it, you were breathing and moving through each hour. You were subtly but surely learning to be present in this new experience of a day, even without being able to make perfect sense of everything.

    Carry this with you as you engage in new experiences that ask more of you. Remember the countless, everyday ways you’ve been moving through each new day with courage, even when you weren’t fully aware of it. Look for areas in your life where you try something new, knowing the courage to move through unknowns has already been rising up within you.

    So here’s to moving beyond the need for perfection by reframing what it even means to “try.” Let this be a form of grounded hope, allowing onward and upward movement to arise gradually.

    -Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Permission to name needs

    Permission to name needs

    You are allowed to create space to name the need.

    …Here are a few words (of many) you could consider:

    acceptance
    appreciation
    beauty
    closeness
    community
    companionship
    ease
    flexibility
    friendship
    hope
    inspiration
    movement
    space
    structure
    understanding…

    Of course, having needs met is very important, but at times, it can be easy to forget an earlier step: naming them in the first place. This alone can be a powerful act. Consider friendship. If you were to say, “I need friendship right now” to someone, it’s the kind of thing that is sure to, at least, spark attention and awareness. It may not immediately lead to the dream friendship you need right now in the next five minutes, but naming it provides a language for your needs, helping you articulate and express what you are seeking. It could lead to deeper, more specific questions:

    Do you need the kind of friendship that is supportive or adventurous? Consistent or spontaneous?

    Specificity not only helps you identify what you may need but narrows your focus in such a way that you may begin to explore what necessary steps are required for it to become possible.

    Allow yourself to get specific. For instance,

    If you need “acceptance,” ask yourself — “what kind?”

    If you need “ease,” ask yourself, “What might ease look like on Saturdays?”

    If you need “space,” ask yourself, “Where? What kind of space has been helpful in the past?”

    -May there be space for you to identify what you need and how it might help you move through the day. – Morgan Harper Nichols

  • Creating Breathing Room, Even here

    Creating Breathing Room, Even here

    Taking a pause when there’s much to do can feel like putting down a heavy book in the middle of an intense chapter – the story keeps pulling you in, yet the break helps you absorb what you’ve read so far.

    Just like in a story, taking breaks helps you process everything you’ve been taking in. By taking small breaks, you give your mind time to rest and think.

    For whatever it is that you are processing right now, taking a pause isn’t the opposite of finding clarity. A break might be the very thing you need to figure out what you should do next. Even if this starts in small ways, allow yourself to notice the pauses that already exist and allow yourself to identify more.

    The quiet moment on the elevator before you reach your floor and go on to the next thing.

    The few minutes when the phone battery has lost its charge and before it’s charged again.

    The silence while waiting for the microwave to finish.

    The moment between seeing a notification and opening it.

    There was a brief silence after saying goodbye before hanging up the phone.

    These moments are so brief it is easy for them to go unnoticed, yet, at the same time, they are places where you can begin to pay attention to the pauses that allow you to reset, regroup, or recharge, and return to whatever it is you need to do with clarity.

    And remember if it’s not an automatic reset that doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. Sometimes, it’s like seeds quietly growing underground. Recognizing that resets can vary in length can free you up from the pressure of instant results. By recognizing that progress in understanding things can grow slowly, even with pauses, you can find clarity in time. Start small in whatever way you can and build from there. – Morgan Harper Nichols